


in control pressin' pause on my heartbeat

by notthebigspoon



Series: 37 Stitches [5]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 09:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clayton's a little afraid of what he's going to be met with after the Giants face the Diamondbacks. It makes him take a long, hard look at his relationship with Tim. He loves what he sees.</p><p>Title taken from Lightning by The Wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in control pressin' pause on my heartbeat

When Clayton comes home, Tim is perched on the couch eating a bowl of cold lasagna and watching Inception. He first wonders when Tim’s apartment became ‘their’ home in Arizona and then how he knew the lasagna was cold. Well, that second one is easy. He’s learned that Tim rarely if ever reheats pasta when he eats it. Maybe the question of home doesn’t matter so much, not as long as they’re happy, as long as it works. 

He drops onto the couch, kisses Tim’s cheek and scratches between Cy’s ears when the dog clambers into his lap. He gets an absent ‘hey baby’ for his trouble and Tim cuddling in close when Clayton’s arm wraps around his shoulders. He leans forward, takes the offered bite of lasagna before settling back and getting comfortable. Even though they’ve agreed not to talk about him, he’s dying to ask.

When the credits are rolling, Tim reaches out and grabs the remote, switches the TV to a local channel. He yawns and kisses Clayton’s cheek. “I still say he was in Limbo.”

“And we’ll never know.” Clayton shrugs, reaching up to toy with Tim’s hair. “How did it go today?”

“We won. Five to three.” 

He hesitates before clearing his throat. “Did you see him?”

“I did.” Tim shrugs, looking up at Clayton. “Wasn’t as scary as I’d convinced myself it would be. Guess that little part of me that was still stupid enough to care about him died out and I hadn’t realized it.”

“Did he try to talk to you?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And what?” Tim asks, snorting. “I told him to fuck off. I’ve got nothing left to say to him. What would be the use? He wanted the best of both worlds... a wife and something on the side. That wasn’t enough for me. I needed more. I wanted to mean more to someone. I wasn’t going to be his dirty little secret or the ‘other woman’ so I dumped him. Apparently he’s still pissed about that. Well, _hurt_ , which, yeah right.”

“Sorry you had to go through that.” Clayton says softly, tipping Tim’s chin up. “I know what that’s like. To want to be something for someone that you’re never going to be.”

“You had an affair with an overly obnoxious married man?”

Clayton huffs, swats him. “No. But I might have had a pretty big crush on Victorino and so help me god, do not laugh at me, you jumped up little shit.”

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, just-” Tim is laughing so hard he’s crying. Clayton doesn’t like him anymore. “Victorino? Are you shitting me?”

“Nobody ever said I have good taste in men.”

“You really don’t.”

“Says the guy who carried on an affair with Brandon McCarthy.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “Yet another in a line of fantastically bad decisions. Nobody in the world is surprised by my ability to self destruct myself, not even my dad. When he found out about me and Brandon, he just told me he was proud of me for ending it.”

Clayton would ask what Tim’s dad thinks of _him_ but he doesn’t think that he has to. Chris Lincecum had been as transparent in his emotions as his son, broadcasting loud and clear his initial wariness regarding Clayton and Tim and then slowly accepting the relationship. They hadn’t talked much but Chris had seemed to like Clayton well enough. And Clayton is pretty sure his mom loves Tim more than she loves him.

He can’t help how closely he watches the two of them, like he’s outside of himself. Tim is a physically affectionate person, always curling up to Clayton when they’re on the couch or in bed together. When he gets up, he touches Clayton’s arm or leg, kisses his cheek. If he takes issue with the seat he has, he’ll sit in Clayton’s lap instead, arm around Clayton’s neck, perfectly content.

Making dinner is a group effort only in that Tim sits on the counter, swinging his feet and stealing scraps of whatever Clayton is cooking. He’s got a glass of wine, sheepishly informing Clayton that he’s developed a taste for it and giggling when Clayton kisses him just so he can share the taste. They eat at the table, something Tim doesn’t care about but does because a ‘family dinner’ around the table is important to Clayton.

Clayton takes the first shower because he takes the least amount of time, scrubbed clean and good to go in ten minutes. Tim stays in longer, the water so hot that steam is billowing out of the bathroom door, singing along with some tune running through his head. He sings around his toothbrush, hums while he dresses for bed. When he slides under the blankets, he kisses Clayton’s shoulder and promptly steals the remote.

It starts a wrestling match, one in which Tim is (always) easily overpowered, pouting when Clayton pins him and laughing when he’s hauled onto Clayton’s chest. He pins Clayton’s hands in place and ducks his head for a kiss. His lips are soft and there’s a laziness to it, neither of them in a hurry or a need to do anything more than touch each other, kiss each other, love each other.

He falls asleep on his stomach and wakes up with Tim half on top of him, an arm around his waist and a leg tucked between his own. He manages to turn his head enough to kiss whatever bit of Tim he can reach before crawling off of the bed and going to brush his teeth. He makes coffee, scrambles egg and fries bacon, slipping a few pieces to the dogs and steadfastly lying to his boyfriend that he did nothing of the sort when he’s caught in the act.

Tim loads the dishwasher, finds Clayton’s missing socks while Clayton attempts to fix whatever damage it was his boyfriend had done to the coffee maker and loads their separate travel mugs. Tim is the one to lock the door behind them, pushing on his sunglasses against the sunlight as they walk to their cars. He’s also the one to lean up on his toes and kiss Clayton in broad daylight, with people passing on the street, before climbing into his own car and calling that he’ll see him at home after the game and driving away.

His lips are tingling and there’s a not unpleasant paranoia that they were spotted, that they’re going to be ratted out. And he knows Tim would have been thinking the same thing but he clearly hadn’t cared. The idea of being outed, of people knowing that he was with a Dodger of all people, hadn’t bothered Tim in the slightest. The very idea has Clayton grinning all the way to the park and clear into the clubhouse.

“You look like a deranged Seth McFarlane character.” Kemp observes. “What’s got you all perky and shit?”

“Tim kissed me. In public.” Clayton smiles. There’s not even the slightest hint of a blush. “I don’t know if anyone actually saw us but... still. He did it. So the idea of people knowing he’s with me must not totally suck.”

“When am I going to meet mystery man?”

“You’ve met him. I think he’s struck you out a time or two.”

Kemp eyes him. “No more dancing around it, Kershaw. Give me the dirt. Who is he?”

“Lincecum.”

Getting red bull spewed all over you isn’t really how you want to start off the work day but Clayton doesn’t mind it as much as he should. He’s actually kind of proud that he managed to make Kemp spit take over something. He watches the older man gag, rubs his back when it seems like he’s choking. Kemp straightens up and stares at him.

“You’re out of your _mind_.” Kemp states. “You can just smell the ‘high maintenance’ on that guy. Does not seem like the kind of drama you’d sign up for.”

“Not gonna lie, there was some major drama. But when someone like that loves you, it’s all worth it.”

Kemp stares before smiling and reaching out to touch Clayton’s jaw. “Hold me, Kershaw. That was beautiful.”

“Asshole.” Clayton laughs, shoving him away. “Go make yourself useful.”

“Ohhh, I will. I’ve got a little gossip to share.”

“Go right ahead. Don’t mind in the least.”


End file.
